Re: Theos-World A psychological method
Jan 15, 2007 04:18 PM
by Cass Silva
Thoroughly enjoyed and could relate to this man's experience of understanding the inner self. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Mark Jaqua <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote:
A psychological method
There seems to be an innactive period
here at theos-talk, so I'll put a chapter
of a book on I compiled about 20 years
ago. (If anyone wants to see the whole
book, I'll put it on in sections - about
150kb total.) Its a compilation from
transcriptions from tapes from informal
group meetings with "J.B." I just use the
initials, because the guy is old, and I
don't want to be the cause of him possibly
being hassled. JB was in an out of mental
institutions for about a 40 year period.
Instead of just becoming a basket case,
he put all his energies into understanding
his own mind and "cured himself of more
mental illnesses than the average county
has." He started out life with 2 strikes
against him as a drunk delivery surgeon
maimed one of his arms. Many probably won't
make head or tails of his material, but
it provided me with some real psychological
keys that I've found invaluable. The
problems that go on with someone with
extreme problems go on with everyone, but
not so extremely. What all this eventually
formulated into in my mind is that the
human subconscious is the same as the
'Antaskarana' refered to in Theosophy -
the connection between the higher and lower
self. JB isn't a Theosophist philosophically,
but there isn't anything he says that is
in contradition to Theosophy either. HPB
says that a key to living a tolerable and
worthwhile life is attention to the inner
For those who hold importance and
omens in numbers (sometimes), I finished
this book-compilation on 7-17-87, I worked
7 hours on it that day, I finished at 7 pm,
and the whole original compilation was
- jake j.
(From 'At Home With the Inner Self,' by
We were talking about free association
the other night and someone brought a
point up. This point has to be brought
up. When I was doing this, I had no one
to talk to. I had no one to turn to. I
had no place to go to discuss these things.
So apparently, the forces that exist
decided that they were going to give me
the special gift of teaching me how to
do my own learning, how to do my own teaching,
how to do my own insighting. I learned
how to free associate. I asked myself
the questions that would take me out
of the blind spots. Most people doing
this get into a blind spot, get into a
thought that becomes repetitive, and
they're done. You don't know where to
go with it.
People get into a blind spot and
might stay there for the rest of their
life. I didn't have that problem. I
learned to ask myself the questions:
What does it look like?; What does it
feel like?; What does it seem like?;
What does it act like? - endlessly asking
myself questions. Until suddenly there
was one thought that was blank and would
go no further. The free association
word wouldn't yield anything like the
release necessary. I would change just
one little inflection in the words as I
repeated them in my mind, just one little
inflection. I'd ask myself: What does
this mean?; What does it suggest?; What
does that make me think of? I never
found one of them that I didn't find
my way out of whatever trap I got into
by doing that. I don't know anybody
else that knows how to guide themselves
out of that hole. I can guide someone
else out of a hole, but I can't seem to
teach them how to do it themselves.
Everything you've went through in you
lifetime and haven't resolved is still
sitting there waiting to be worked on.
Either you get straight with some of
this stuff, or you'll wish you had.
It is a mountain of work. You don't
deal with each individual circumstance
but with the abstraction of the problem.
You deal with the still existing patterns.
You don't deal with the individual
circumstances of things in your life.
The singular psychological patterns that
maintain presently held values and
patterns of thinking are what you deal
with. You don't deal with the individual
circumstances that gradually imbued you
with one particular aspect or complex.
Even then it is a mountain of work.
The ability of getting a feeling to
translate into words is a tricky business,
but it is well worth the effort. When
some insight comes up, you should stop
everything you are doing, if at all possible,
and pay attention to it. If a word
associated with a current feeling comes
up, it is often extremely important.
Repeat the word until you get some sense
of what it means. It is often a word
at the crossroads of other concepts, and
ties them together. Before you couldn't
figure out how this tied into this or
this tied into that. You begin to build
a structure and develop comprehension.
If you hold center on a problem
long enough, things will open up. It
is especially difficult when you are
first trying this. It takes awhile to
develop the expertise. Sometimes the
effort of trying to hold center and bring
something up is so great that you simply
can't do it. It takes practice. You
are facing a void because you don't know
what you are looking for. If you keep
mentally facing forward, it will eventually
focus itself. You will focus on what
your inner nature is seeking. If there
wasn't an unanswered and even unstated
question you wouldn't be doing this. At
this point the question isn't even formed.
You just know that there has to be
a better state than that which you
are currently in. The unanswered is
what you are seeking.
It is difficult to stay on the
point when thinking about something.
It may be something is so painful to
you that the mind will keep drifting
to almost anything to get off the
painful thought. When facing the unknown,
the key is overcoming the fear. You
must have faith that it will work.
Fear is absolutely the hallmark that
you are getting near something important.
When you get to this fear you know
something you are looking for will be
found. You know that you've found a
You have to have consistency in doing
this and facing it to produce results.
You can't meditate this week, do it
again next week, and then let it go.
You'll wind up always going back
to the beginning. On the other hand,
don't expect too much of yourself.
When it gets too hot, let it go for
awhile. The next time around you'll
be a little closer when you start and
you'll go a little farther before
If you're being bothered by something,
I've found that if you let your body
run the show, just laying horizontal,
that all the things that wander around
in your mind will drift off. You'll
start getting a feeling that an important
thought is coming. It's a physical
feeling that a thought is coming up
into your brain. As soon as this happens,
you know you're on the road home. The
pain diminishes and you start realizing
what is disturbing you.
Learning this technique is like
learning a new language. The first
couple of times it is not going to be
very effective. You just have to lay
there and be quiet until the problem
comes to the surface. You have to face
forward into the void, as it were, a
type of tunnel vision. Ideas will come
to you and eventually one will come
that really hits the gong about problems
you are facing. Different ideas will
come to fill that void. The thing that
is hard about it, when you're first
attempting it, is to realize that you're
searching for something you presently
have no answer to. It is hard to realize
that you are putting effort into putting
something where there is now nothing,
as far as consciousness is concerned.
I came upon this method instinctively.
For the first year I wondered what the
heck I was trying to do. Finally it
started to work. This, meditation and
dreams is where I've learned everything.
I never learned anything from a book.
You may unconsciously be chastising
yourself that inner work is not a good
use of time and energy. You may be
prejudiced against your own thinking
compared to what someone else says or
what you read in a book. You have to
think as much of your own thoughts as
you do of somebody else's. In any effort
you start out from zero. You may feel
foolish about the things you are thinking
about, but you have to start somewhere.
You have to realize that you are trying
to be a student of yourself and that
it is a good effort.
I was stumbling around with meditation
and I discovered that if something was
bothering me and an answer to the problem
occurred to me, then it stopped bothering
me. So when something started bothering
me I knew I was looking for a specific
answer, which was the golden key to the
thing. Little did I realize how much
work it would be. At first you don't
know what you are seeking. Once you make
the discovery of this inner statisfaction,
then you know what you are seeking for.
You're blind to it for quite awhile.
You just know things aren't what you'd
like, but you aren't able to be specific
about it. Our major appetite is the
need to comprehend.
Comprehension is a specific appetite
and even needs to understand itself.
You need to know what the mind is trying
to get done so you can be more effective
at it. Your internal system is entirely
capable, given the opportunity, to teach
you what it is trying to teach you.
Your inner being knows. Your outer being
is always unknowing.
Your system is constanty trying to
get some inner job done. It is constantly
trying to get you conscious of what is
distressing you. Secondly, it is tring
to get you to comprehend what natural
laws and patterns that distress is
involved with. 'To know where the
mistake is so you can evade making the
mistake and start going with the natural
flow. This is all built in by design.
Try to place the problem mentally
in front of you and let every tension
go out of your body. Let the thing
just hang in front of you. Gradually
a word will come to mind that will
begin to explain and alleviate the
circumstances. The words form so long
as you hold that center. It is
uncomfortable, miserable, and the only
thing that is worse is what you're
trying to escape. If it is something
superficial, you can deal with it
superficially. If it is a deeper
problem, you have to pinpoint what is
bothering you. To find out what it
is you have to stay on center on the
problem and not slip off the point.
Sometimes a flash of insight might
come which lasts but milliseconds.
If you miss it, you can only get
back to that insight by plodding and
working step by step.
You can bring on insight experiences
if you learn how. You have to let
go of the trivia. But you have to
learn what the trivia is in reference
to what you are seeking. It may not
be trivia in all situations. Some
insight might come up when you're at
a business meeting. Now to me, for
the time being, the meeting would be
trivia because it is more readily
accessible, and I'd have to get away.
'Maybe excuse myself to go to the
bathroom, to get at the source of
what's coming up. You may have to
try to get a handle on it by repeating
the word or concept over and over
to yourself. When you get a handle
on it, you can keep it to get back
to later. If you let it go, it may
not come again. It is a way of life.
You don't want to give your job away,
but you have to do what is ever possible.
When you run the gamut of
concentrating on something, you may
want to take a break or forget it for
awhile. Just when you take your mind
off it, is when answers to you other
problems will often come into view.
This is a good thing to know from the
methodological standpoint. The reason
for it is very simple. When you are
keyed up and putting a lot of energy
into a problem, the minute you let go
of the problem, all the energy has to
go somewhere, and it goes to whatever
the next problem is on your agenda in
priority basis, even if you don't know
consciously what your next priority
problem may be. The second you break
off concentration, a slight dizziness
sets in because of the change in
concentration levels. That is when
the answers will come in. The more
you do this switching back and forth
of levels, the more effective this
process and information is. As soon
as you take this high energy level off
the problem you are focusing on, it
will escape to the next energy level,
like a spark crossing the gap in a
sparkplug. Until you are good at it,
you won't notice it. It will just go
There is a free association part
of the mind that is like a citizen's
band scanner, constantly going up and
down the channels. Your inner mind
is constantly trying to get your outer
self aware of what's going on within
yourself until you've answered to that
need. It keeps throwing balls over
the fence. As you drive down the road
your mind will constantly pick out this
fence or that tree, or this sign.
You're accustomed to it and assume that
everyone else's mind does the same thing.
If you analyzed why you pick this or
that to see out of everything that is
available, there is a definite reason
and pattern to it. It follows very
closely the things that come in ordinary
dreaming (which is another method of
throwing balls over the fence.) The
dream-maker uses these things in waking
life. They are attempts to guide you
to what in you is unfulfilled.
When I was young I learned that
dreams were the source of all necessary
information. It's good to go to sleep
slowly and to wake up slowly. If you
have a nagging dream, just lie in bed
and be quiet. Try and be conscious of
no-thing, which is different than nothing.
Just let it come to you. All the
pictography of the dream is an attempt
by the inner stage master to throw things
over the fence to key you in to what
is happening in your insides. Through
dreams you can repair the bridge to
the inner self and again become a whole
person. Realizing something in a dream
isn't enough, you have to become aware
of it in the waking state.
When I was good at dreams, several
times I was able to go deep inside myself
and hear the dream and actually be able
to see it, and get a person to repeat
what they said time after time until
I was able to re-experience the dream.
In interpreting my dreams, what I would
do when I woke up was to go all the
way back to the cross-over state. The
feelings that the dreams elicit are
the things that tell you what the dream
means, so you have to be able to go
right back into it. Whatever the same
feelings are that would occur to you
when you are awake, is what the dream
is trying to get to. The real point
in dreams is to get it to come back
so clearly that you get all the
feelings as they went by.
Your inner mind is using all
opportunities at all times to get
you to look at something about yourself.
When I had my mind and could use
it, everytime I found somebody I didn't
like, invariably I would discover that
they had something that I didn't think
I could ever have. But the process of
going from the intitial dislike to the
discovery of the secret jealousy took
me months every time to work my way
through it. As I'd go through the
process of discovering specifically
what characteristics I was so jealous
about, I'd find out that the person
really didn't even possess the
My mind was just using the
characteristic to bait me, to bring
into my awareness something about my
own values. 'That there is something
that I consider to be important inside
that I'm not consciously aware of.
Your mind only uses these circumstances
to bring your attention to something.
When the washout was over with, what I
would find out about the situation was
that there was something that I valued
that I never realized that I valued.
My mind was just using the opportunity
to bring it into view. You can't know
what your real attitudes are until you
get good at inner work. It's the only
way you can find out.
Use your mind to see what are the
implications of everything. It is an
offense against a very offensive reality.
You can do something about it. The
people who can't do anything about it
are the 99% of the population that don't
know what hit them. The minute you see
you can do something about it, you cease
to be one of those people, although it
may take awhile before it dawns on you.
The classic idea about going to a
psyciatrist is that they set you down
and want to know about your past. I
don't want to know anything about the
past, but about what brought the person
in today. It is like a person looking
for their glasses, and where are they?
- right on their head. If I had been
an analyst, a lot of the type of material
I'd have written is in D.W. Winnicott's
book, The Maturational Process. You
couldn't spend enough time on it.
You don't have to remember anything,
traumas and the like. You are never
dealing with anything except what is
right here. How long it has been there
is another aspect. The Freudian notion
that you can go into your past and set
yourself free is totally false. They
only achieve remembering things. That
has nothing to do with it. You have
to deal with the weird things you are
doing now, that you started doing back
then. You don't have to remember anything.
When you find the deepest past
as the real now... In other words,
when you find that deep past, the
real now will never be the same again.
When you realize that something you
started nearly from the moment you
were born is something you are doing
right now, it instantaneously changes
and will never be the same again.
You don't go back. You go along the
surface until you find the past in it.
You don't go back anywhere. It's
all right here. It never really went
anyplace. It's still here.
"The Truth will set you free."
There are times you are set free and
you don't even know what the truth was
that did it. You have to search for
the concept that expresses it. It
is important to search for the concept.
When you find the concept that sets
you free from something, and you
understand how it explains a natural
process that was aborted and then brought
back on track, you experience a shift
of realities that will take you away
from the mundane for all time, the
first time it happens. It can happen
in a repetitive stream for half a
lifetime. You are never again caught
in the surface of things. You can
withdraw from the surface of things
and see the overriding influence that
causes situations. The first time you
escape the surface of things, you are
relieved of it and never caught or
bound in it again.
Nobody knows this when they are
studying themselves. They stumble along
and fall into it and get set loose
from the whole thing. Sometimes they
think they've lost all their sense of
reality, because reality is never
perceived again as the same thing from
that time on. Reality is a matter of
concepts. Up until this point, the
most real thing in life is a hammer.
After you've crossed this invisible line,
the concept of "hammer" is much more
real that the hammer itself. Without
the concept, you could not have the
hammer, but up until this point you
couldn't appreciate the importance of
The usual meaning of choice, the
usual meaning of will, the usual meaning
of self-determination are linguistic
concepts that are darn near necessary.
I accept the unfoldment of me before
the only audience that matters - me.
I long ago came to the realization that
it has been completely out of my hands
from the beginning. I know I've had
nothing to do with what I've gone through.
I've been the little character that
sits at the crossroads. Nothing more,
I have not had the opportunity that
most people have had of being in the
ordinary sense self-determining. They
determine what they want to do, go out
and do it, and have a reasonable amoung
of success. They pay their own bills
and are able to do what they call
"stand on their own feet." They have
the ego support involved in it and it
becomes a large part of their view of
themselves. You must remember that I
have had none of this. The body is
built to answer to the first necessity.
Get the bills paid. Get the food on.
Get the house in shape. My hunch is
that the only reason I can still put
up with life is because of the experiences
I've had. For me to contiue life makes
A friend was talking last night
about the fact that he gets so despondent.
He'll get a rush of insight about
something, and it will trigger a flood
of insights that will come. He'll be
uplifted by the passing flood of insights,
even about minute things but mostly the
seeing into important things he's been
blind to. Then he'll go to bed one
night and wake up completely in a hole
and not know how he got there. The
insight is gone. He looses all the
insights. He can't remember anything
that he's gained. He feels completely
dissipated and spent and doesn't
know what hit him.
I really raised his eyebrows when
I told him that the whole point of
the conscious effort, the whole thing
you want about insight, is the insight
to insight. You want to be able to
get to the point where you can see
how to bring insight into the hole,
to keep it from crushing all the progress.
That's the only impediment to an
endless, continual consciousness of
insight, which is what I finally got
to. The key was to seek and pray,
literaly pray, for the insight to see
what causes the depressions, because
the depressions are what destroy everything.
Every time you have a specific fall
into a depression, some one, specific
emotional experience is invoved in it,
and only one. There can be a string
of depressions caused by different
emotions. When you resolve and dispell
one big depression through conscious
effort and insight - if you ever accomplish
this once, you've learned the root to
dispelling all depression. Free
association is the biggest key.
Also, you conquer the hopelessness
by facing it.
The minute you can generate a goal,
depression dies. The thing about
depression is that you can't generate
a goal. A negative long-span thinking
situation is always a case of the dog
chasing his tail.
To be genuinely clear, which doesn't
have anything to do with Scientology's
"clear," is to have answered every
question you have had to date, and I've
been there on a regular basis. If that
isn't paradise, I don't know what is.
It is to have taken every feeling that
ever came into your comprehension and
to have traced it all the way back to
A funny thing about depression is
that it takes just as much effort as
it does to be positive, but you end up
with totally different results. The
activity itself is not so much the key
as what it produces. Being positive
about things is equally as real as being
negative. You have the same input,
different outlook and results. The
only way you can determine better or
not between them is by what they produce.
Between them they both suffice.
If you let negativity get hold of
you, it becomes consumming and you are
negative about everything. There is
nothing worse and more draining than
having to hate. About the only way you
can correct it is to be positive about
little things at a time.
Bored stiff? Loosen up...
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