Re: Theos-World Jokes and Jokes
Mar 02, 2006 08:38 AM
by Bart Lidofsky
Steven Levey wrote:
Well, as long as you mention it, there IS a sequel...
Bart-That was great, and almost too true to be funny, but I loved it.
You know Thomas Edison was a Theosophist, who not only invented the
most useful light bulb, but in so doing-the problem of changing it.
Wouldn't you know that a Theosophist would not only assist in
shedding light but also darkness. Well, "Light and darkness are the
world's eternal ways".
The Light Blocking the Path
by Bart Lidofsky
A decade or so from now, a worker who accidentally will wander into a
time travel experiment will go back into the past, to the days of the
Roman Republic. Once he learns Latin, he will try to explain the
technology of the 21st Century, but being the product of typical
American schools, will not be able to physically reproduce more than a
few simple items. But he will impress the populace sufficiently that his
words will be written down, and eventually become official doctrine.
Let’s go forward a bit, when Thomas Edison (or any reasonable
equivalent) invents the practical electric light bulb. The Bureau of
Technology sends a representative to examine whether or not this
invention is valid.
Edison: Look! It lights up the room, and can go for days and days
without burning out!
Representative: I’m afraid, sir, that while that’s an interesting
diversion, it cannot be accepted as an electric lightbulb.
E: Why not?
R: Well, first of all, note that in the Book Of The Future, it states
that the electric light will be a form of continuous fire in a globe.
Now, as you well know, we have discovered, as the Book Of The Future
predicted, that fire is a result of a rapid combination of materials
E: So, what’s your point?
R: My POINT, you pseudoscientist, is that your so-called “lightbulb” has
a globe with a VACUUM inside!!!! There CANNOT be a fire in a VACUUM. So
that CANNOT be an electric lightbulb!
E: But, note that we have discovered the reason that fire gives off
light is by heating up the molecules of the material so rapidly, that
they give off their excess energy in the form of light. My lightbulb is
R: It does not matter. The Book Of The Future SAYS “fire”, and therefore
it must BE “fire”. Besides, even if there WAS a fire in the globe, there
are more problems!
E: MORE problems?
R: Of course there are more problems. I see that you are using metal
strings to bring the electricity to the lightbulb.
E: You mean the wires. And that’s a problem?
R: Very much so, I’m afraid. After all, the Book Of The Future said that
wires would be used to bring the electricity to the lightbulb. And those
are NOT wires.
E: NOT wires? Why not?
R: You should read the Official Books more often. For does it not say,
in Electricity IV:3-4, “And, like, thou knowest, electricity doth flow
through wires the way water doth flow through pipes. Yea, verily, that
is it, it is like water through pipes.”
E: And the problem with that?
R: Everybody KNOWS that pipes are HOLLOW inside. Those so-called “wires”
you are using are SOLID. They cannot possibly be carrying the electricity.
E: But sir! They ARE like pipes. The INSULATION is the outside of the
pipe, while the metal is like the air!
R: Ah, you fall victim to the Franklin Fallacy. For, whatever is being
carried through what you are calling “wires” will flow through WITHOUT
insulation. You take the outside out of the pipes, and the water will
flow all over the place! Those are NOT wires!
R: I’m sorry. Invention denied. Better luck next time, and do try to
read up on the Book Of The Future.
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